Bright Hall

"House" Star Leaves Show for White House

Tony Romm — 2009-04-07T11:48:00+00:00

Filed under: Politics, Odd News, American University

From Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello comes news that last night's plot twist on House -- Kutner's (Kal Penn) seemingly unprovoked suicide -- was hardly the result of cast infighting or creative conflicts.

Rather, as the EW blogger unveiled during an interview published this morning, Kutner's death was purely... political?

"Yes. I was incredibly honored a couple of months ago to get the opportunity to go work in the White House," said Penn, still famous for his role in the "Harold and Kumar" films. "I got to know the President and some of the staff during the campaign and had expressed interest in working there, so I'm going to be the associate director in the White House office of public liaison." [sic]

Specifically, Penn will reprise his role as an Obama spokesperson and coordinate the administration's outreach efforts with the "Asian-American and arts communities," the Chicago Sun-Times reported on Tuesday. He'll serve directly under Valerie Jarrett, chief of the Office of Public Liaison.

Penn, however, gave no indication of when he will officially assume his new position -- and, most important to the Hollywood types, whether it signifies an end to his acting career.

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ShamPOW!: Pitchman Arrested For Punching Prostitute

Joshua Chaney — 2009-03-28T12:57:00+00:00

Filed under: Culture, Odd News, Muskingum College

I wonder if we'll have to suffer through those ShamWow commercials anymore with the we-can't-do-this-all-day guy with the stylish headset on.

I'm going to guess ShamWow will come up with a new pitchman after Vince Shlomi -- the guy made famous with his obnoxious yet amazingly successful commercials pitching the highly absorbent towels -- was arrested for punching a prostitute at a South Beach hotel last month.

According to thesmokinggun.com, Shlomi hired the woman for "straight sex" for a one-time special price of $1,000.

Shlomi met Sasha Harris, according to an arrest affidavit, at a Miami Beach nightclub and subsequently retired with her to his room at the Setai hotel.

Shlomi told cops he paid Harris after she "propositioned him for straight sex." During the the 4 a.m. fight, Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face, according to the affidavit.

Shlomi evidently found out that kissing with tongue was not included in the offer when he gave it a try and the prostitute latched onto his tongue and didn't let go until after he had repeatedly punched her.

Shlomi ran into the lobby of the hotel where security called police, who later found him bleeding from the mouth.

Originally, both parties were charged with aggravated battery, but prosecutors decided not to pursue charges on either. It is still unclear whether ShamWow will consider making blood absorbent bandages for oral use.

If they do, they might have to wait until Shlomi's "moneymaker" is healed up so he can pitch us that idea next.

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Volcano Monitoring Proves Useful One Month After Jindal's Speech

Kaitlynn Riely — 2009-03-24T08:18:00+00:00

Filed under: Science, Odd News, Notre Dame

A volcano in southern Alaska erupted Sunday and Monday, spewing ash columns some 60,000 feet in the air and causing ash to fall in several communities west of Anchorage, CNN reported Monday.

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal so did not see this coming back in February, when he mocked the part of the stimulus plan that allocated funding for volcanic activity monitoring.

In the GOP response to President Barack Obama's address to a joint session of Congress, Jindal criticized the Democrats for passing a bill "larded with wasteful spending," including "$140 million for something called 'volcano monitoring.'" [Correction: I wrote billion originally. $140 billion would probably be excessive.]

"Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, D.C.," Jindal said.

That line's a zinger...until a volcano actually erupts.

The Anchorage Daily News reported that Mount Redoubt erupted for a sixth time Monday evening. The aviation industry was affected by the eruptions, since the ash clouds prevent air traffic in the vicinity of the volcano. U.S. Interior Secretary Ken Salazar told reporters that approximately 20,000 passengers fly through the area each day, CNN reported.

A U.S. Geological Survey geophysicist told CNN that the eruptions could disrupt air travel to south central Alaska and Alaska as a whole for weeks to months. The Anchorage Daily News reported that Alaska Airlines canceled 19 flights in and out of Anchorage because of the ash.

In towns near the volcano, residents are wearing masks to go outside, since the ash is dangerous to breath. But luckily, experts have been warning of an eruption for some time, CNN said.

Thank goodness for volcano monitoring, right Gov. Jindal?The Daily Beast reported in their story about the Jindal goof-up that geologists say the area around Mt. Redoubt is likely to receive stimulus funds that will help its residents to prepare for future volcanic disasters.

Mount Redoubt, a 10,917-foot stratovolcano 100 miles south of Anchorage, last erupted during a four-month period in 1989-1990, the Anchorage Daily News said. The most recent period of volcanic unrest began Jan.25 and scientists reported heightened seismicity at Mount Redoubt for two hours prior to the eruption, so warned that there could be a quick escalation to eruptive activity.

What are the odds, Jiindal must be wondering. I have no idea. He should probably ask someone whose job description is "something called 'volcano monitoring.'"

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Teens Think Rihanna To Blame For Beating?

Joshua Chaney — 2009-03-14T18:29:00+00:00

Filed under: Pop Culture, Odd News, Muskingum College

Here's something that might blow your mind: Nearly half of 200 Boston teenagers interviewed actually said that Rihanna was to blame for the alleged beating she took from boyfriend Chris Brown.

And if you think the amount of failed marriages has risen, wait until these kids get married. Of those participating, 71 percent said that arguing is a normal part of a relationship and 41 percent said fighting is routine.

The results were part of a survey conducted by the Boston Health Commission and were found to be equally among boys and girls. The startling results clearly demonstrate a generation of youths who have grown insensitive, to domestic violence.

"I think you'd have to be pretty jaded if you weren't startled by it," said Casey Corcoran, director of the health commission's new Start Strong program.

Oprah Winfrey added her take on the couple's situation as well this week, warning women that "if a man hits you once he will hit you again."

Tyra Banks joined Oprah in the discussion and has interviewed both Rihanna and Brown separately on her own show. Both dealt with domestic violence in their homes when they were young, Banks said.

The latest rumors running around are that the two are not only back together again, but plan to cut a song together on love as well as co-author a book about domestic violence.

The couple was also seen recently spending time together at one of Sean "Diddy" Combs's homes, on Miami Beach's Star Island.

Brown faces two felony charges for his alleged beating of Rihanna and appeared, Thursday, in a Los Angeles court where his arraignment on charges of assault likely to cause great bodily injury and making criminal threats was postponed at his request.

Brown withdrew himself from the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award after the charges were filed.

The incident that produced the charges occurred early Feb 8. A police affidavit says the couple go into a fight after Rihanna found a text message from another female on Brown's phone.

Brown pulled his car over and tried to push his girlfriend out to no avail thanks to the seatbelt she was wearing, police said. Brown pushed Rihanna's head against the window, punched her with his right hand and then continued driving while hitting her repeatedly. The affidavit also states Brown bit Rihanna on the ear.

Brown remains free on $50,000 bail. If convicted he could get anywhere from probation to four years and eight months in state prison.

Rihanna's lawyer Donald Eltra told MTV that Rihanna will cooperate with the investigation.

"At this point, she is willing to do anything that the law requires her to do. ... If subpoenaed, she will testify," Etra said.

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World's Pitiful Unite at FMyLife.com

Joshua Sharp — 2009-02-12T18:38:00+00:00

Filed under: Culture, USC, Odd News

Put it down as one of the great message boards of our time. Great in the worst possible way.

Powered by shameless self-pity, adored for its pure, unadulterated entertainment value, and shared for its sheer addictiveness, FMyLife.com is destined to become a permanent resource to put your most disappointing days in their proper perspective -- even if it is a bit NSFW (not safe for work).

One user submits: Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML.

FML. Meaning, of course, F@!* My Life.

Though many FMLs involve relationship complications, others are just sadly sardonic about their patently unfair life: Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML.

The site owners say they check each submission before publishing it online, attempting to weed out the exaggerated and the outright false. But there is no basement for the pitiful stories which populate this den of shared misery in the interest of public amusement, and some of these are so inconceivably horrible, part of me wishes they weren't actually true.

Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a 'keeper,' at which she laughed and said we were 'just friends. I was going to propose to her next week. FML.

Factual or not, this site is remarkably therapeutic -- which is rather timely, given the current recession.

FMyLife.com. It will make any day seem infinitely better by comparison.

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Raccoons Intrude on White House Grounds

Kaitlynn Riely — 2009-02-08T21:41:00+00:00

Filed under: Politics, Odd News, Notre Dame

President Obama has had a lot of problems to deal with his first few weeks in office. He's trying to pass a stimulus bill that faced staunch opposition by Republicans. The country is fighting a war on two fronts. He's taking shots from Dick Cheney and John McCain.

And now, he's got raccoons roaming the White House grounds.

The Washington Post reported last Thursday that a pack of raccoons was spotted roaming the 18 acres of land that surrounds the White House. At Notre Dame this year, we've had several skunks spotted around campus, and I've had many close encounters coming home at night. So it could be worse at the White House. But raccoons are also animals I wouldn't want to have running around near my home.

The Post quoted the director of Urban Wildlife Programs for the Humane Society of the United States as saying he believes the raccoons are new to the estate, not a leftover problem from the Bush administration.

So far, a single large raccoon and several medium-sized ones have been spotted on the property. On Friday, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said the animals had not yet been caught or dispersed to another location in Washington.

Here's hoping the National Park Service takes care of the raccoon problem before the Obamas buy their first dog. I trust this country can recover from the current economic crisis. I don't think we can recover from an "Old Yeller" scene starring Obama and a labradoodle.

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Census Bureau to Report to White House?

Tony Romm — 2009-02-05T18:15:00+00:00

Filed under: Politics, National News, News, Odd News, American University

After a number of minority groups expressed concern that Commerce Secretary-designate Judd Gregg would "downsize census outreach efforts," President Barack Obama decided Thursday to altogether bypass the Commerce Department and force the Census Bureau to report directly to the White House, according to Congressional Quarterly.

At issue is Gregg's prior disposition toward the constitutionally-mandated, decennial census. As a three-term GOP senator from New Hampshire, Gregg frequently supported cuts in the bureau's funding, even opposing President Bill Clinton's appeals for emergency money in 1999. In both instances, Democrats lambasted Gregg, alleging that his efforts would have complicated the counting process, especially in traditionally under-reported minority neighborhoods at risk of being subsumed into larger congressional districts.

Although Gregg has yet to defend his positions in cabinet confirmation hearings, the Obama administration hoped to preempt any political fallout on Thursday by releasing scant details of its revised census plan. Speculation, however, does exist: According to Politico and a second CQ dispatch, the revised census hierarchy would permit Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, the former chair of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, to "h andle Census Bureau matters," though to what extent remains unclear.

Buoyed by such uncertainty, House Republicans immediately condemned the Obama administration for politicizing the census.

In a joint letter to the White House on Thursday, Reps. Darrell Issa (R-Ca.) and Patrick McHenry (R-N.C.) criticized the president's plan to circumvent the Commerce Department. According to the two members, any proximal relationship between the political wing of the White House and the Census Bureau "severely jeopardiz[es] the fairness and accuracy" of a count that determines how much a congressional district will grow or shrink, how many representatives each state is afforded -- and thus -- how many electoral votes each state receives.

As of Thursday evening, neither the Obama administration nor Gregg's office had addressed the matter on record.

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Latest Victims of the Recession: Your Addiction, Your Mail, Your Sweet Tooth

Tony Romm — 2009-01-29T00:23:00+00:00

Filed under: News, Odd News, The Economy, American University

It has affected college students' goals, family members' careers, incoming politicians' aspirations, and now, Americans' guiltiest pleasures. That the U.S.economy's untimely slump has touched upon every aspect of American life is certainly the understatement of 2009, and even the most trivial aspects of our routines bear the marks of its consequences. Here are just four examples:

1. Two short of shortbread. Sure, they escaped the peanut butter fiasco, but they didn't quite fare as well against the economy. Facing increasing overhead and transportation costs, the Girls Scouts of USA announced Wednesday that they would subtract two to four cookies from their "boxes of Thin Mints, Peanut Butter Sandwiches, Shortbread Cookies, DoSiDos and Trefoils," according to CNN. The move, Spokeswoman Michelle Tompkins told reporters, comes in lieu of a price increase, which Girl Scout administrators feared would further pulverize their 2009 profit expectations.

Normally, such news would have provoked thankful sighs from the health nuts among us, who stress annually during Girl Scout cookie season, however...

2. Running on Empty. ...even gyms are suffering. Earlier this month, Reuters reported (or, more accurately, reaffirmed) that American gym membership rates are inexorably tied to the economy; when it becomes too expensive to subscribe to monthly fitness programs, Americans simply don't. Unfortunately, that line of thinking hasn't helped the health industry's health, either. In slightly over a year, Bally's Total Fitness, a national exercise company, declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy twice. Worse, other struggling fitness companies -- many of which are suffering because of their low-price attempts to reengage customers -- are soon expected to follow suit. Perhaps those cookies don't seem so expensive after all...

3. Less Bang to Your Bux. Starbucks, too, has implemented a host of cost-cutting measures this season in a feeble attempt to keep its prices low and profits high. Unfortunately, part of its revised sales formula includes closing 300 stores this financial quarter in addition to the 600 it announced it would shut down last July. The move, according to Wednesday's New York Times, should affect more than 6,000 workers, many of whom Starbucks hopes to shuffle into other positions throughout the company. But if the costlier commute for still-overpriced coffee doesn't quiet your inner yuppie, perhaps the recent news about the news will: Even the Times, the staple diet of any Starbucks frequenter, can barely afford to stay afloat. Maybe Folgers and broadcast news are making a comeback this year...

4. Return to Sender. If you're one of the few people in the United States who still depends wholly on snail mail for communication, the recent announcement that the U.S. Postal Service may soon halt all deliveries on Tuesdays must be troublesome. In his Senate testimony earlier this week, Postmaster General/CEO John E. Potter explained that new technological and financial pressures have forced his office to reconsider the Postal Service's purpose:

"In fiscal year 2008, total mail volume fell by more than 9 billion pieces - 4.5 percent. With volume down significantly, revenue did not meet projections, even with a May price adjustment, and remained essentially flat compared to the previous year. Costs, however, continued to grow, at a rate far higher than could have been anticipated."

Of course, Potter noted, nothing is definite; Congress has not yet debated any changes to the mail schedule, a topic it hasn't visited since 1983. But maybe a 5-day mail week isn't such a bad thing, for either Americans' personal finances or the aforementioned industries' prospects: The policy dampens hope for a fast economic recovery, to be sure -- but at least you'll no longer receive bills on Tuesdays.

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Candy Cigarettes Taking a Hit. Root Beer Next?

Megan Baker — 2009-01-28T14:29:00+00:00

Filed under: Politics, St. John Fisher College, Odd News

It's no secret that Barack Obama is a smoker, whether he wants us to know or not. And thanks to a rule instated by former First Lady and current Secretary of State Hilary Clinton, he is going to have to quit if he wants to live in the White House. (Fun fact: the last known president to have a smoking problem was Gerald Ford.)

If Obama was able to motivate a nation to get him into the White House, he should help smokers everywhere join him in his battle to quit smoking once and for all.

While Obama admitted that he had not quite quit smoking while on the campaign trail, he's working on it.

His advice on how to quit?

"Eliminate certain key connections - that first cigarette in the morning, or after a meal, or with a drink, If you can eliminate those triggers, that should help."

It probably won't be so easy for him to quit as he does have what is probably the most stressful job known to man. (At least they are letting him keep the Blackberry to sooth his nerves.)

There is all the basic advice people can follow to quit like chewing gum, avoiding places where there is bound to be other smokers, etc. But Democrats in Nassau are doing their best to keep candy (yes, candy) cigarettes out of plain view in hopes that it will deter children from becoming smokers in the future.

Roger Corbin (D-Westbury) proposed the bill because he claims that children in schools had told him that they felt that candy cigarette use would lead to actual cigarette use in the future. (I'm glad our politicians are getting legislation ideas from children). Corbin also claims that there is a study that supports this "fact."

According to the study, which was reported in the July issue of Preventive Medicine, 22% of regular smokers had regularly consumed candy cigarettes as a child, compared to 14% of non-smokers.

I can see the point people are getting at with this study (which is more of a survey than anything). Candy cigarettes desensitize children to the idea of smoking, making it seem more socially acceptable than what it is.

But if they are going to start here, are they going to make IBC Root Beer stop bottling their product because it looks like a beer bottle? It even has the word "beer" in the title.

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Graduate Auctions off Virginity to Pay for Tuition

Megan Baker — 2009-01-15T22:53:00+00:00

Filed under: St. John Fisher College, Odd News

A 22-year-old Sacramento State graduate is auctioning off her virginity online to cover her tuition costs...and there's nothing the government can do about it.

Natalie Dylan (not her real name) is getting away with this scheme because the "transaction", if you will, is set to take place in Nevada, where prostitution is legal. To be more specific, it will take place at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, made famous by the HBO documentary series, Cathouse.

Think it's a stupid idea? Her offer has attracted more than 10,000 bidders and she has apparently reached bidding as high as $3.7 million.

While I went the old-fashioned route for college funding - applying for scholarships and financial aid then getting loans for what remained - this chick was inspired by her sister who paid for college through prostituting herself for a mere three weeks.

On this proposition, Dylan said that "I know that a lot of people will condemn me for this because it's so taboo but I really don't have a problem with that." And to defend her chastity, she has also offered to have lie detector and medical tests done to prove that her virginity is, in fact, intact.

Ironically enough, Dylan earned her bachelor's degree in Women's Studies and she wants to pursue a master's degree in marriage and family therapy. Something tells me she didn't learn too much in her classes. She shouldn't be paying Sacramento State, she should be asking for her money back.

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Obama's Not the Only 'Magic Negro'

Megan Baker — 2008-12-29T18:54:00+00:00

Filed under: Politics, St. John Fisher College, Odd News

Chip Saltsman sent out a CD by conservative political satirist Paul Shanklin to Republican National Committee members as a light-hearted Christmas gift. Too bad for him, because not everyone found it very funny.

The CD, entitled We Hate The USA features a song called "Obama the Magic Negro," which is based on an op-ed piece by LA Times writer David Ehrenstein. The piece compares president-elect Obama to the likeness of the "magic negro," which is a term coined by director Spike Lee.

What is a magic negro you ask?

Wikipedia defines a magic (or magical) negro as "A supporting, often mystical stock character in fiction who, by use of special insight or powers, helps the white protaganist get out of trouble." Basically, it is a black character in a film who has gotten into trouble in the past or has something wrong with him but does all he can to enlighten the main white character of the film.

Some examples include:

Laurence Fishburne in The Matrix
Denzel Washington in The Bone Collector
Michael Clarke Duncan in The Green Mile
Morgan Freeman in...who are we kidding, any movie he stars in

While these are all movie characters, apparently this definition delves into the non-fictional realm as well. Barack Obama just so happens to be labeled as one of those people.This all kind of goes back to the "blackness" of Obama. He was ostracized for not being "black enough." As Ehrenstein wrote, "The only mud that momentarily stuck was criticism (white and black alike) concerning Obama's alleged 'inauthenticty,' as compared to such sterling examples of 'genuine' blackness as Al Sharpton and Snoop Dogg."

But with all of this magical negro talk (sorry for using the word negro, I think it's offensive and outdated, but it's the term that has been frequently used for this) it makes me wonder, what other magical categories are out there?

You obviously have your magical Asian. Everyone out there who has seen Rush Hour 1 and 2 (and I think there is a third one out there) knows that Jackie Chan is one magical Asian. Not only can he whoop some butt, but the guy is pretty funny too.

The magical red-head goes to Chuck Norris. There is no ginger out there who can take down bad guys like Chuck. Too bad that doesn't help him out with politics...maybe next time, Mike Huckabee. (By the way, only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires, it's a fact.)

If you have any other magical figures you can think of, share it. This could become a phenomenon, people.

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The Most Insulting Names of 2008

Catherine Cullen — 2008-12-26T01:29:00+00:00

Filed under: Politics, Brown University, Odd News

In honor of the holiday season, the DC-based blog Wonkette is celebrating peace on earth and goodwill toward men. Or not.

As 2009 approaches, the site has published a top-10 list celebrating the most elaborate, offensive monikers for 2008's leading ladies and gentlemen. The so-called "Children's Treasury of Terms of Abuse" is worth a look and a laugh to see President Bush described as a "bellicose twat of a president" (when the situation with Russia was escalating) and to read about ol' "orange-skinned dog-torturing Scientology-loving Frenchman" Mitt Romney.

Harsh? Yes. Fair? Depends on who you ask. Orange-skinned is of course a matter of taste. Dog-torturing however evokes one of the more colorful stories dug up during Romney's bid for president. Apparently on a family vacation in 1983, Romney strapped the family dog in a kennel to the roof of the car for a 12-hour drive. Scientology-loving Frenchman is a bit of a stretch - according to Wonkette Romney paid a visit to the Scientology center while on the campaign trail and also, on an unrelated note, lived in France for two years.

You get the picture: the titles are hyperbolic to the point of overblown, but if you're in the mood for some witty and not-so-witty ("National Review" conservative columnist Kathryn Jean Lopez is called a "mouth-breathing fart-sack") reminders of the past year, it's a nice send-off into the new year. You may even learn a little something: I, for one, was unaware that Joe Lieberman was interchangeably referred to as the "mutilated carcass of a baby rat-child." Sarah Palin being a "barely functioning idiot" and a "Snowbilly dingbat" however, was hardly new news.

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Shoe Thrown at Bush Coming to the U.S.

Megan Baker — 2008-12-22T12:05:00+00:00

Filed under: St. John Fisher College, Odd News

Turkish shoemaker Ramazan Baydan was shocked when he saw a pair of shoes being flung at President Bush's head. But it wasn't the act that shocked him, it was the shoe.

He has been making this style shoe for 10 years now, which before the infamous incident was named the Ducati Model 271. Since reaching fame, the shoe model has now been dubbed "The Bush Shoe" and is now in very high demand.

According to Baydan, a U.S. firm ordered 18,000 pairs and another 15,000 pairs were requested in Iraq, with several firms fighting to be the shoe company's representative in European countries.

Baydan said that he was shocked that the shoes were so aerodynamic, but weighing in at under 11 oz each, he said that the shoe probably wouldn't have done much harm to President Bush (who was apparently an excellent dodgeball player in his youth).

As Baydan prepares to send out thousands of pairs of this shoe, I thought he might consider making some moderations and turn these puppies into some super shoes.

First, 11 oz? Come on now. Those can barely hurt a fly. If these things are going to actually be effective, they need some meat on them. Maybe add a steel toe in there. It would probably help with the aim and if you don't have the time to take them off and throw them, a swift kick to the shin should do the trick.

Secondly, throw in a heat seeking sensor. There probably aren't too many world leaders out there who can dodge like Bush, but it would be a cool feature. No more embarrassing yourself on the world scene by missing your target. If you are going to have to go to jail for attacking someone, you might as well hit them, right?

Next, include a target. If you're planning on hoisting a shoe at someone, you should probably get your practice in. This guy wasn't bad for a first timer, but just think how great his aim would have been if he had practiced ahead of time?

This whole shoe throwing thing could get really big. And since we got rid of women's softball, it could possibly even be an Olympic sport.

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Palin's Future In-Law Arrested

Megan Baker — 2008-12-19T16:51:00+00:00

Filed under: Politics, Breaking News, St. John Fisher College, Odd News

Looks like someone's baby's daddy's momma is in some serious trouble.

According to Anchorage Daily News, 42-year-old Sherry Johnston was arrested by Alaska State Troopers at her Wasilla home on Thursday, December 18 and charged with six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance.

For those of you who may not remember, Levi Johnston is the father of Bristol Palin's unborn child. (According to Bristol's grandfather, the baby is due tomorrow).

Troopers served the warrant of the Johnston home at the "conclusion of an undercover narcotics investigation," according to a statement issued Thursday by the troopers as part of the normal daily summary of activity around the state.

No other information was released, including the type or amount of drugs or how long the undercover investigation had been taking place. Johnston was arrested and booked at Mat-Su Pretrial Facility around noon, and was then released on a $5,000 unsecured bond around 2 p.m.

Palin's people are remaining tight-lipped on the situation. A rep for Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, mother of Bristol, said Thursday: "This is not a state government matter. Therefore the governor's communications staff will not be providing comment or scheduling interview opportunities."

Who ever thought that it would be the 18-year-old getting ready to give birth while grandma is dealing with some dirty business? To think, we all thought Britney Spears' little sister had issues. While her in-laws may not have given the best sex talk known to man, at least they don't (or just haven't been caught) do drugs.To put things into perspective, I did what any other normal person would do: I turned to Google to find other instances of druggie grandmas.

Here were a few of my favorites:

Eleanor R. Schreiner, 65 at the time, was caught delivering less than 50 grams of cocaine and resisting and obstructing a police officer Jan. 12, 2007, at her home. Since she pleaded guilty, she was dismissed of marijuana charges and maintaining a drug house. Ironically, she had to pay a fine of $420.

Leticia Villareal-Garcia, 62 at the time, was running drugs for her son to afford her Bingo habit. (In her defense, old people really do love Bingo). She is currently serving a three-year prison sentence and was fined $150,000.

Patricia Tabram, 66 at the time, had her house raided back in September of 2005 (again). She was known for cooking baked goods laced with marijuana and giving them to neighbors. She said that the treats helped her friends deal with pain and depression. Now that's my kind of grandma.

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Hitler Youth's Cake Request Denied

Joshua Sharp — 2008-12-18T00:44:00+00:00

Filed under: Featured Stories, USC, Odd News

The parents of three-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell are furious after a local store refused to decorate a birthday cake with the dictator's -- I mean, the child's -- name. The parents were also displeased that the Greenwich ShopRite store wouldn't paint a swastika on the cake, presumably for decorative purposes.

"We reserve the right not to print anything on the cake that we deem to be inappropriate," ShopRite spokeswoman Karen Meleta said in defense. "We considered this inappropriate."

The Campbells have two other children, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, but the couple insists they aren't racist, because children of mixed race attended the birthday party on Sunday, according to Papa Bear Heath Campbell.

"I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past," Campbell said.

During an interview yesterday with the Associated Press, Heath said he was wearing boots formerly worn by a German soldier during World War II. He also admitted that he was raised to avoid non-whites socially and romantically, but says it will be different for young Adolf.

"Say he grows up and hangs out with black people. That's fine, I don't really care. That's his choice," Heath Campbell said.

Is it just me, or does that sound incredibly disingenuous?

Fortunately, a Wal-Mart was more than willing to oblige in decorating the cake just like the parents wanted.

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Playboy Apologizes for Virgin Mary Cover

Megan Baker — 2008-12-15T20:04:00+00:00

Filed under: Religion, Featured Stories, St. John Fisher College, Odd News

Playboy recently got in a little bit of trouble in Mexico, where the Mexican edition of the magazine came out last Thursday with the model on the cover appearing to imitate the Virgin Mary.

Playboy publisher claimed that this was not the intent, saying "The image is not and never was intended to portray the Virgin of Guadalupe," -- which is the Virgin Mary -- "The intent was to portray a renaissance-like mood on the cover." Looking at the image, it is pretty hard to argue that it was unintentional. To make matters a little more sticky, the magazine was printed just days before the Feast of the Immaculate Conception and the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which are both Catholic holidays centering on the Virgin Mary.

"Te Adoramos, Maria" translates to "We love you, Mary" in English, but the model's name is Maria (the phrase can also translate to We Love You, Maria), so it is most likely referring to her and not the Virgin Mary. While that may be the case, the cover was still very offensive to Catholics not only in Mexico, but around the world.

In response to upset Catholics, Playboy recently released a statement saying, "While Playboy Mexico never meant for the cover or images to offend anyone, we recognize that it has created offense, and we as well as Playboy Mexico offer our sincerest apologies."Now, Playboy isn't the most tasteful of publications and I wouldn't consider it a work of journalism, but this seems to cross the line in a big way.

In an interview with CNN, Father Albert Cutie of Mexico went so far as calling the cover a blasphemy because Catholics do not adore Mary, they adore only God. So not only was the image a blasphemy, but insinuating that people adore the Virgin Mary goes against the Catholic religion as well. He went on to call the magazine "desperate" for using a religious figure to try to sell more magazines.

So, what do you think? Was Playboy wrong in publishing this cover, or are people just overreacting?

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Would You Trade Your Privacy for a Smartphone?

Catherine Cullen — 2008-11-30T17:58:00+00:00

Filed under: Brown University, Odd News

Yes, you say? Then you're in the same boat as the one hundred MIT students who voluntarily gave up their privacy for free smartphones.

The students are participating in new research project tracking a web of information called "collective intelligence." This data is comprised of all the digital interactions and linkages the students will make, tracked through their smartphones.

Every song they listen to, every Web site they visit, every file they download will be recorded and relayed to a central computer which will create a map of their activity.

The 100 students in the study are providing research fodder on a micro-level: demonstrating social and technological interaction within a college dorm. The data from their phones will create a dynamic look at the dorm's "social network."

Sound a little too Big Brother-y for your tastes? You're not the only one. Even the people who developed the software acknowledge that it has the potential to do some serious harm. Collective intelligence could potentially allow people to format profiles on individuals without ever tracking an individual directly. Technology now allows for the analysis of massive amounts of data that can show general trends, yielding results for an entire group of people, based off one person's activity.

Rather than relying on survey respondents to track trends, analysts can now use more reliable and accurate metrics from collective intelligence pools to predict things from the next hot night club to the future of the stock market. The field of collective intelligence also has potential implications for insurance coverage and response time to health epidemics.

Using the "PageRank" algorithm that made Google famous as a starting point, analysts can begin to predict people's wants and needs based on their usage of certain technologies. Smartphones, cell phones, and GPS systems are just the beginning, showing how, when, where and how often people are using their technology. By creating blanket analyses, researchers can begin to formulate a picture of people's general wants and needs, and what they will want and need next.

I'm not sure I'd be willing to let researchers track my every phone call and text message for a year... but I do want a new smartphone. Maybe THEY already knew that.

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The Bushes' 'Let Santa Light the Menorah' Problem

Megan Baker — 2008-11-26T12:06:00+00:00

Filed under: Politics, St. John Fisher College, Odd News

As if we needed something else to laugh about. Mr. and Mrs. Bush sent out invitations to leaders of America's Jewish community for a Hanukkah reception at the White House next month.

The problem? There was a Christmas tree on the card.

The card (pictured right) shows a Clydesdale horse bringing the tree to the White House. When looked at closely, the white sign on the side of the wagon reads, "White House Christmas Tree 2008."

Jewish community leader Isaac Abraham of Brooklyn had a light-hearted explanation for the faux pas.

"It's obvious what's going on here: The Christmas tree is being taken out of the White House and the menorah is being brought in the back," he said.

With the economy looking the way it is, maybe the Bush administration didn't want to waste money on designing several cards for the different holiday celebrations.

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Palin Pardons a Turkey, Carnage Ensues

Megan Baker — 2008-11-21T14:16:00+00:00

Filed under: St. John Fisher College, Odd News

Governor Sarah Palin has had some free time lately to do work that doesn't involve "heavy-handed politics." Yesterday she participated in a ceremony to pardon a turkey from becoming someone's thanksgiving dinner at Triple D Farm & Hatchery outside Wasilla.

After the lucky thirty-pound turkey was pardoned, Palin granted an interview to reporters to talk politics. Little did she know that directly behind her (in full view of the television cameras) turkeys were getting, well, slaughtered.

As if PETA didn't hate her enough as it is.

Note: this isn't for the faint of heart or squeamish. MSNBC did a good job of trying to blur out the carnage, but you'll get the idea.

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New Word Enters Dictionary... Meh

Catherine Cullen — 2008-11-19T08:28:00+00:00

Filed under: Brown University, Odd News

While some may think that I'm merely expressing apathy at a new entry into the official lexicon, they're wrong. I'm expressing dictionary-sanctioned apathy.

"Meh," a word whose origins have been attributed to a 2001 episode of "The Simpsons" has been officially entered into the Collins English Dictionary after reportedly, "generating a surprising amount of enthusiasm among lexicographers."

Frankly, I would assume that any amount of enthusiasm among lexicographers would be a surprising amount, but that's beside the point.

As an English major I have to cringe at every expression popularized by the Internet making it into the dictionary because it completely degrades language and blah-blah-blah. However as a person with a scrap of a sense of humor, I can definitely appreciate the new Collins entry. One of their chosen examples is particularly spot-on: "The Candadian election was so meh." Perhaps this explains why Sarah Palin didn't follow Canadian politics.

Other potential good uses:

"The economy is so meh right now."

"How's the comatose guy doing today?"
"Meh."

"And in other news, the Israel-Palestine situation is a little meh this morning."

Add other examples as you see fit!

So in honor of this lexicographical expansion, go out and celebrate apathy. (Wait, can you do that?)

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