My mother and I have been watching NBC's Today show long enough to remember when it was a measly two hours, and we've always watched with the kind of stupefied fascination you'd have watching a goldfish swim hopelessly around its tank looking for an escape route. Both pathetic and funny.

But if I grow up to be rich and famous, I will never, ever, turn down an interview on that show. Today has taken mindlessness to a whole 'nother level when it expanded to three hours a few years ago; then a month ago, it went to four, giving Matt Lauer and Co. even more time to do what they do best – Fawn with a capital F.

My personal favorite was a piece on Harvard president Drew Gilpin Faust from last week. I didn't think they could devote a full eight minutes to the fact that she is Harvard's first woman president, but boy, this show never disappoints! No mention of anything even remotely negative -- not Harvard's undeclared war on other colleges, not her political posturing, and certainly nothing on her own second-fiddle status in the presidential search.

What a disservice. Forget what Buzz Bissinger said about blogs dumbing us down. The real culprits are on network TV, first thing in the morning.